Sunday, January 28, 2007

I wonder...

If you love something set it free
If it comes back, it was meant to be,
If it doesn’t, it never was.

The right equation of friendship perhaps. But no thank you. what does setting someone free mean? Letting them be themselves? Accepting them for who they are? Too unpredictable and definitely too risky. I know it’s a lovely quote and all but too many consequences and all in all too much effort. So much easier for us to live a cocoon existence with a certain number of people on our “friend lists”.

Some of us probably love our friends more than our parents simply because we are friends by choice not by any sort of obligation. Our friends love us for who we are and in spite of us. But do they really?

Love and friendship go hand in hand. Trust and humility add to it. Yet they seem to have disappeared. In an argument obviously you are right that’s why you are arguing but the other person also thinks she is right and that’s why she is arguing. Simple enough isn’t it? Not really. Is it worse to have an argument, swear, call each other names and in the end sort it out or keep it to yourself, pretend everything is fine and let the resentment inside grow? On the computer screen it seems easier to sort things out but in reality our egos are too big for us to step down from our pedestal where they are being constantly fanned.

I have always been a very strong believer in speaking my mind but at what cost? Talking it out helps …right? But what if the other person is unwilling to listen? Then what? Do you go down until you get trampled? Is it better to make promises you cant keep or not make promises at all and risk hurting someone? Is it right that you are labeled uncaring because you would rather not make promises you cant keep? Is friendship really just a little book where you note down all a persons pros and cons and then weigh them side-by-side. Are all mistakes unforgivable? What is the use of everyone except the ones that really matter seeing everything you try in order to make amends?

Our friends love us for who we are and in spite of us…. I wonder…

*If anyone has the answers to my many questions in this post please let me know...:)

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

PERFECT state of mind i think all of us r in.....CRAP i really wish i had the answers to them.....y the **** do things have to get dis way??? really wish i cld put it down in words as well as u did, at least dat'd get my head of things [x(] awesome post hon ....but i'l always love u n b there for u no matter wat....XOXOXOXO

Anonymous said...

damn nice proud of u lol

Anonymous said...

so true.....

Unknown said...

*genius*
Really...this is sufer and soo damn appropriate !
Lowe it ! :)

atul said...

hey brill post! makes me do a rethink about this whole funda of "friendship"...

Unknown said...

friends love us for our pros nd cons...or atleast they will if theyr true friends....the fact is that all of us hav pros nd cons nd we as humans tend to ignore d cons nd finally ends up in a catastrophie when the cons of each person confront us....ofcourse, if r friends r true at heart, they will forgive nd accept us for who we r..after all they rnt perfect either..but i sometimes wonder...humans can forgive, but upto a certain limit...how many times can u forgive a person, with that person changing personalities each time...forgive nd forget...if only it were that easy..forgiving once,twice,even thrice is ok...but doing it umpteen no of times nd d person not realizing that she \he has a prob, is quite difficult on friends....after all theres only so much they can handle....but d best part is not the unwillingness of d person to change but d attitude adopted after everything happens...like nothing occured..like all the words nd feelings dished out were nothing...now tell me dhiya, what is a 'friend' supp to do in a situation like this?

Unknown said...

so...since i am utterly jobless at home...i want to know y i am not getting a reply to my quest!!!

Unknown said...

I havto agree.
What happens when a 'friend' goes against the very basis of a friendship-
Trust.
When someone seems so manipulative and selfish..do they deserve another chance..time after time?

Dhiya Talks said...

@ neha yea its tru...frnds dont deserve to be forgivn if they dont realise their mistakes...maybe wen they finally realise their mistakes they deserve tht chance but then again its sorta lik the boy who cried wolf if someone keeps sayin tht they realise their mistake but actually doesnt no one is gonna believe them wen they do. i gues the best thing is to do is to follow ur heart... mayb he/she has realised mayb he/she hasnt....its ur life

@nada no ,wen someone does it time aftr time the frnd doesnt deserve another chance but wen its only once mayb thn u cud find it in ur self to forgiv....mayb think abt the times the frnd has been there. if the bad points outwiegh the good then no they dont deserve a another chance..

Unknown said...

that is such an unappropriate reply...it doesnt answer any of my quest...another thing....is it right on the persons part, knowing that her
friends of the past, feel uncomfortable around her, nd yet she intrudes on their privacy,making everyone wonder,y she does it..

Dhiya Talks said...

@ neha no i dont think its right but mayb she doesnt realise or mayb she thinks it will help...

Anonymous said...

i dont know how it works for others but i felt that there are a few differences with what i feel, im tht type of guy who wud nev hesitate to speak out, if it hurts its for a reason to bring about changes, at the same time i wudn hurt my friends atthe cost of speaking out, becuz i feel they are friends for a reason....but tht doesnt give thm liberties to take advantage of friends who'd give up a lot of things for friendship, there can be no cost equivalent to friendship, and no compensation either... i wud never expect anything of my friends that they might not be able to give, wether promises or favours, friendship is the part wer u dont expect things, and just wen things happen caused by others that make u feel lucky and special, and also its just an assurance that wen u really need someone there are friends for u, and the times wen u weigh pros and cons, charecters and count the number of times ur friends have let u down, thts wen u become less a friend and ur freinds who u judge will remain as just friends, but wen u learn to forgive as much as it takes and cope with as long as habbits stay, thats wen u and others to you become more than just friends... we shud remeber that, i wud lay my life down for a friend of mine just becuz i kno he/she wud do the same for me, and i dont need him/her to prove it to me... all these little thing build a great friendship and help it, as life does, evolve... after all everything has a begining and friendship is just genisis to a lovely trust filled life... thts wat i feel and i have many friends who'd put hands to chest for me... its up to y'all if u can be one of them for ur friends...

Anonymous said...

tht was by dhruv.... srry im new to blogging!!!!! cheers!!! live life happy guys, after all u've got only one!!! :)

Jayasindhya said...

whoa...sounds like u alrite! tho i dint think u thought so much...
nice post man.this is sindhu in case u dint kno i was jaya :P

Dhiya Talks said...

@ dhruv: frm all tht i fig tht u sorta agree wit wat i had to say...:) glad u think its nice

@ sindhu: idiot jus becaus i suck at trig doesnt mean i am dumb okay..:)...but wait wat does "sounds lik u alrite mean"...aargh...crazy girl

Jayasindhya said...

lol.. so u wont be comin to tut after dis na..*sniff*.. ill miss all of ya..
sindhu

Barath said...

well... letz be frank here..
u wuldnt kno friendship at this young age....
u think u kno sum ppl.. itz sad in the end dat u dont...
n u think u dont kno sum1... but they mite actually happen to be the real frnds..
itz quite a journey of ups and downs together... den ull jus find dat they do care, nd u care for them... its completely mutual...
ud be sharing sumthing much gr8er dan love...nd ull never kno it...

well, ur thoughts seem very rational, nd i agree with all the points...
jus give sum time... and ull find those true friends! dey mite be closer dan u think... or sum1 uve never met :)

Dhiya Talks said...

@ sindhu: will miss ya too da..

@barath: thangyu. and i hope i find them too.... :)